dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
