Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
