And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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