I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize
