remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize