found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
