This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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