whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
