Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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