apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
