some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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