I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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