he puts the penis in happiness.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize