i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
