I smell stomach acid.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
