oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
