If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Who died my cat blue again?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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