he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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