pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just found a bag of teeth...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
