Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
