i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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