He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Panties = found
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