whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
