i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All I want is dick and wine.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
