Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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