Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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