I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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