someone get that fucking seahorse.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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