I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
