I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
