He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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