my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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