he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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