all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
