he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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