that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
