Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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