Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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