Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
