Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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