I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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