What did we do last night that was yellow?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I want to be your penis for a week.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
