You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
