oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
