my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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