His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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