We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
