A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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