No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
