it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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