His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize