If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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