she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
