C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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