I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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