Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
