I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You were trust falling into bushes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
