Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

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(858): View more from California

in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita

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(406): View more from Montana

she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

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(770): View more from Georgia

We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

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(727): View more from Florida

I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.

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(616): View more from Michigan

My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.

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