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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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