Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death