I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wanna go halves on a baby?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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