He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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