i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize