So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
people are starting to question the shark bite story
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
