Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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