i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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