it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
