i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
